Quick answer: In this candid, no-products video I take a break from style and beauty to talk about mental health as we age. I share a set of therapist-inspired reframes — like “at what cost to you?” and “not my circus, not my monkeys” — that helped me set boundaries, quiet my inner critic, and let go of rumination. It is a personal reflection, not therapy, meant to make asking for support feel normal.
Key takeaways
- I step away from style and beauty for an honest conversation about mental health as women age.
- My four-year IVF journey is what led me to therapy — and to caring so much about emotional support, not just treatments.
- I walk through therapist-inspired reframes on boundaries, self-talk, rumination and hope, drawn from an Oprah Daily roundup and my own life.
- Practical boundaries — like app timers and a curated feed — protect my mental space from social-media overwhelm.
- No products here (just the knowledge), and this is not a substitute for professional care.
Hey ladies — welcome back. Today we are taking a little departure from style and beauty to talk about something I am deeply passionate about: mental health. I know therapy can get a bad rap as we age, but it is one of the most important conversations I can have with you, so let us get into it.
Why am I talking about mental health instead of makeup?
Because the same women who ask me about eyeliner also write to me about self-doubt, reinvention and feeling unseen. My own turning point came during my four-year IVF journey, which began around 2015. I went to multiple clinics around the country, and I was genuinely surprised that not one of them ever encouraged the mental side of that experience — they were excited about the treatments and the checkout, but rarely about how a patient would weather such a physical and emotional storm.
Before my final embryo transfer, I asked my husband to find us a therapist so we could prepare mentally, whatever the outcome. That decision changed me. I have loved self-help books since high school, but sitting with a professional through something that hard is what turned mental wellness into a mission for me. We should not feel ashamed if we are aging and struggling — talking about it out loud is how we retire the old idea that asking for help is weakness.
What are the therapist reframes that changed my life?
I came across an Oprah Daily roundup where women shared the one sentence from a therapist that shifted everything for them. Some are theirs, some became mine, and here are the ones I walked through in the video:
- “When you don't know what to do, do nothing.” Instead of reacting instantly, take a beat, process, and then respond — it is almost always a better answer.
- “You get to choose the type of relationship you have with ___.” Fill in the blank — a partner, a friend, a neighbor. You are back in the driver's seat and get to decide how it looks.
- “Get out and walk.” One woman walked to and from her sessions; the walk there brought clarity, the walk home gave her time to process. Movement frees the mind.
- “There really was no catastrophe.” Pilar, 53, shared this. Stop the Monday-morning quarterbacking and replaying small moments — most of the time, just release it and move on.
- “I'm just too tired.” Honor genuine exhaustion, but notice when tired is really an excuse. Most days you can still show up and do the thing.
- “Don't get on the roller coaster — wait for them on the platform.” Stay grounded and keep your boundaries, especially with social media.
- “Okay, but at what cost to you?” Jeannie, 52, learned this from her therapist, Ruth. Ask it before you say yes; your emotions and energy are worth protecting.
- “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Karen, 47, lives by this. You cannot control how others react to your boundaries, but you can stick to your responses.
- “When you have a book, you'll never be lonely.” A good book is company and escape — I recently loved Wild Company, the untold story of Banana Republic.
- “Aren't you curious about what's around the corner for you?” Catherine, 57, held onto this through a very dark, traumatic time — a gentle reminder that something wonderful may be just ahead.
- “You control how you let the past affect you.” Brenda, 59, wrote that we all have childhood things we could not control; as adults, we get to choose how we act and react.
How do I protect my mental space day to day?
A big one for me is social media. I set app timers so my phone goes dark after a set amount of time each day, and I curate what I see instead of letting an algorithm feed me constant triggering or overwhelming content. That is exactly what “stay on the platform, don't get on the roller coaster” means to me — staying grounded rather than getting swept into the chaos.
Movement is my other reset. When I am walking or working out, my brain feels free and my best, most creative ideas show up. I also lean on small positive inputs — a good book, and an app called I Am that sends me gentle, encouraging prompts throughout the day. Little things, but together they keep me pointed toward something positive.
Is therapy worth it?
I put that question right to you in the video — is it an asset, a crutch, or something else? For me, the perspective I gained was worth far more than the hesitation that almost kept me from going. You do not have to see someone in person, either; self-help books and talk-therapy apps are real options too. And please hear me on this: if any of this resonates or you are going through a dark time, reaching out to a licensed mental-health professional is a meaningful step, and everyone deserves that support. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline any time. This post is a personal reflection, not medical advice.
The bottom line
The inner work and the outer glow are part of the same story — and taking care of your mind is just as legitimate as taking care of your skin or your style. When you are ready to bring a little joy back to the fun side of that story, come play with me: explore my best-sellers, browse the full makeup collection, or find a little something in gifts. Above all, be gentle with yourself, ladies.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this video a beauty tutorial or product review?
No, ladies — this one is a departure from style and beauty. It is just the knowledge today: a straight-to-camera conversation about mental health and a roundup of therapist-inspired reframes I found meaningful. There are no products, steps, or purchases in this video. It is purely a personal, reflective talk.
What made me start talking about mental health?
It traces back to my four-year IVF journey that began around 2015. I was surprised that the clinics I visited rarely offered emotional support alongside their expensive treatments. Before my final embryo transfer, I asked my husband to find us a therapist so we could prepare mentally, and that experience sparked my passion for talking openly about mental wellness as we age.
What are some of the reframes I share?
A few favorites are: when you do not know what to do, do nothing; at what cost to you; not my circus, not my monkeys; and there really was no catastrophe. Together they are about pausing before reacting, setting boundaries, protecting your energy, and releasing rumination instead of replaying small moments over and over.
How do I handle social media and mental health?
I set firm boundaries. I keep app timers that make my phone go dark after a set amount of time each day, and I curate my feed so an algorithm is not feeding me constant triggering or overwhelming content. My guiding image is to not get on the roller coaster but to stay on the platform, so I stay grounded instead of getting swept into the chaos.
Is therapy worth it?
I put that question to you in the video: asset, crutch, or something else? For me, the perspective I gained was worth far more than my initial hesitation. You do not have to see someone in person, either; self-help books and talk-therapy apps can help too. If a topic resonates, speaking with a licensed professional is a meaningful step.
Does this replace professional mental-health care?
No. This is a personal reflection meant to encourage open conversation, not medical or psychological advice. If you are struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental-health professional. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential support any time.
