Quick answer: This is a different kind of video for Nikol's channel — not makeup, but a guided journaling exercise about living with intention. Inspired by a Wall Street Journal article and the 2023 book Know What Matters, she invites you to do a yearly "premortem": picture yourself at 90, honestly reflect on what would bring you joy and what you might regret, and use that clarity to make proactive choices now. The goal isn't a perfect life — it's an intentional one, and it's never too late to start.
Key takeaways
- Grab a pen and paper. This video is built around an exercise, so it helps to write as you go.
- A "premortem" is clarifying, not morbid. Reflecting on the end of life while you can still act helps you spot regrets early.
- Live intentionally, not perfectly. Focus on what you can control, forgive past mistakes, and start today.
- It's never too late. Whether you're 50, 70, or 90, every step toward a meaningful life counts.
- Openness matters. Nikol shares her own IVF journey as encouragement that a meaningful life takes many forms.
Hey ladies — if you've come to expect makeup on this channel, this one is a little different, and Nikol says she's proud of that. She wanted to talk about a harder subject that doesn't always land easily in casual conversation: how to design a life you can look back on without regret. Get something to write with, and let's do the exercise together.
What is a "premortem," and why do it now?
Nikol found the idea in a Wall Street Journal profile of an entrepreneur who does a yearly reflection on his own birthday. After watching one parent die at peace and another full of regret, he decided not to wait for the end to review his life — a practice he later described in his 2023 book Know What Matters. One passage imagines the body old and frail and asks: what do I want to feel in that moment, and what will I do now to get there? His point is simple — don't wait until the ninth inning with two outs to decide whether you're proud of your life; have that review in the earlier innings, while you can still act on it. At its core, a premortem is about living with intention rather than drifting.
How do you actually do the premortem exercise?
Nikol keeps it approachable. If reflecting on mortality brings up anxiety, be gentle with yourself and go at your own pace. Here's the exercise as she walks through it:
- Pause and get a pen, paper, or a journal.
- Close your eyes and picture yourself at 90 (round up to 95 or 100 if you're already close), sitting comfortably and reflecting on your life.
- Write down the moments that bring you joy and the things you might regret — across your relationships, your health, your passions, and the risks you wish you'd taken.
- Notice where the most common regrets tend to fall: missed opportunities, broken relationships, poor health choices, and unfulfilled dreams.
- Turn that awareness into a plan — small, proactive choices and habits that move you toward the life you want.
- Come back and repeat it. Nikol suggests revisiting the exercise regularly, and even doing it with friends.
She's candid about her own answers, too — travel is one she's been putting off since 2020 because it makes her nervous, so it sits high on her list. The aim isn't to dwell on what's wrong; it's to create awareness so you can change the outcome.
Why does Nikol share her IVF journey in this video?
Nikol has a history of bringing hard, under-discussed topics to her channel — from IVF back in 2014–2015, when few people talked about it, to an abnormal mammogram and a stereotactic biopsy she couldn't find good information about at the time. She blogged through those experiences so other women would know what to expect. Here, she uses IVF as her own example of living without regret: she and her husband did everything they possibly could on their last transfer, so even though it didn't work out the way they hoped, she can look back proud. Her takeaway is hopeful — a life without children isn't a lesser life, and it doesn't define you. She points to women who built incredible, purpose-filled lives to show that meaning takes many forms. (Every fertility, health, and screening journey is deeply personal; for guidance on your own, a trusted medical professional is the best source.)
A note on the early bird CBD sponsor
Nikol shares that this video is done in partnership with early bird CBD gummies, a small Austin-based company whose products she says she'd been using on her own for about a year before partnering. She frames them as part of her nighttime wind-down and sleep ritual, alongside things like a bath, reading, and meditation. She notes the gummies contain hemp and THC, come in a few flavors and travel packs, and that the brand does third-party batch testing. This is shared as what works for her, not as health advice or a recommendation. CBD and THC products aren't right for everyone, their legality and effects vary, and you should check with your doctor before starting any new supplement.
The bottom line
Living intentionally means giving yourself permission to focus on what matters — and to weed out the noise. Part of that, for many of us, is a few small rituals that help us show up for ourselves. If a little everyday self-care is one of yours, explore Nikol's best-sellers, timeless classics, or a thoughtful pick from gifts — whenever the moment feels right. Mostly, though: grab that pen, do the exercise, and design the life you want.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this a makeup tutorial?
No. Unlike most of Nikol's videos, this one has no makeup application. It's a reflective journaling exercise about living with intention, so the focus is on the exercise rather than any products.
What is a "premortem"?
It's a reflection you do while you're still living — imagining the end of your life to clarify what truly matters. The idea is to identify potential regrets early and act on them now, instead of waiting until it's too late to change anything.
How do I do the premortem exercise?
Grab a pen and paper, close your eyes, and picture yourself at 90. Write down the moments that bring you joy and the things you might regret across relationships, health, passions, and risks — then turn those insights into a simple plan you can act on.
Do I have to be a certain age to try this?
No. Nikol emphasizes it's never too late, whether you're in your 50s, 60s, 70s, or beyond, and it's just as valuable when you're young. The point is to bring intention to how you want your life to play out at any age.
Is the early bird CBD gummy a health recommendation?
No. It's a sponsor Nikol personally uses as part of her wind-down and sleep ritual. CBD and THC products aren't right for everyone, and their effects and legality vary, so check with your doctor before trying any new supplement.
Is talking about mortality morbid?
Nikol frames it as hopeful, not morbid. The exercise is about awareness and designing a meaningful life, not dwelling on what's wrong. If reflecting brings up heavy grief or anxiety, it's okay to pause and consider reaching out to a professional.
